(no subject)

today was madd fucking funny yo.
lmao. i was pretending to be gangster all day.
i seen kenny liek 60xbilliontimes today.
i never see him.
hes never in school anymore.
we sat out side and smoked a cigg, and talked.
cold as hell out.
then i went to lunch.
HAHAHA i got a large fry, and like it only had THREEE FRIES.
i was leik wtf so im sitting theer eating them 3 fries, and chris asked me what was wrong.
and i said i only got me 3 fries.
and he bought me some spaghettii shitt.
and fies.
i was flicking spaghetti at the wall and it was hitting lunch ladies.
and then they came to or tabble and i hid the spaghetti tray
and was fucking laugjign madd hard.
John did something madd funny/Gay as hell.
and i was drinking my drink.
and i choked on it.
and threw up everywhere on teh table.
everuone was laughing.
i was laughing and choking while throwing up.
christina walked me to the nurse.
and then she left.
and i was sittign there.
and i threw up again at the nurses feet.
she made me lay down.
she wanted me to go home.
but i didnt want to.
me an dteh nurse are madd tite.
she just let me lay for awhile.
then i left and went back to class.

when school was over i came home.
and i ate some hottwings.
then matt showed up.
we hung out and sung songs.
and just fucking played video games.
he gave me pictures he drew. and a poem<3
i was lovestruck.
but fuck guys for awhile.
not even worried about them.
i need to handle things for myself firt.

christmas is soon.
i hate christmass.
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    mars volta

(no subject)

today i went to the avenue@whitemarsh,
i went to peir1imports.
then to kobe's japanese steak house.
the dude cooked in front of us.
it was madd hardcore.
i loved it.
then i went outside&smoked a cig,
went to ACmore.
got a scrapbook thing.
then went to barns and nobles and read poetry on teh floor.
i laid their in teh isle on my belly and read half of this poetry novel.
"love is a dog from hell" by Charles Bukowski.
i asked my mommy to get it for me for christmas.
she said we'll go this weekend.
Matt and Ron were at barns and nobles.
we talked and shit.
he loves batman "batman is awesome" lol

tonite i wanna go to the mall.
i wanna hang out with my tyler and steph.
and Jay is gunna be there for a bit.
he said hes gunna bite my nose, and buy me icecream.
i don't want martin to get mad tho.
even tho he's 25 and is like my broher,
hes best friends with my cousins.

oh well.
hes my boyyy and oh well.

i love martin.
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so this weekend was ok. martin spent the night friday and saturday. friday night we just watched movies, saturday we did noting really, when it got late we got our checks cashed and went to record and tape traders he got the as i lay dying cd and i got him the bloodbrothers cd for christmas. i also got my mom these pot leaf icecube trays. i have a feeling she will enjoy them deeply. lol. me and martin put ex's on or heads lastnight. it was fun, here are some pictures

I love martin woot.Collapse )
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    dave chapelle- rick james

(no subject)

My day was okay. no sence of coplaining right? It won't get me anywhere. I geuss this was cool, in lunch today, i seen tyler when i was finnished eating and i went over and sat with tyler. brian was there these 3 other dudes, and jenny and some other girl, well i took a lemon out of my purse that i took from foods class, and i just pealed it, and then ate it like a orange. i just gollbled it down like a chicken or a rooster, tyler laughed at me. i gave Jenny some. I'v ehad horrid cramps all day. I have a A in Biology. I just talked to martin, he's spending the night tonight, hes getting ready to come over. My day was okay. I'll post again later.
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(no subject)

Long strands of aubury hair tucked beneath her ears.
Her eyes wide with astonishment and love.
Each beat of her heart makes her life feel quick,
She is alive as the sun rinses her face in a yellow
glow of hope and light.
The day begins to dim, the vault of heaven grows dark.
Her hair begins to release and shield her face. Her
small nose peaking out. She is adorable in this
light, but her heart has waned with fear.
Her face begins to darken.
Sadness has grown upon her face and reflects in her
The sun begins to dip below the earth as the night
Her hair comes down and covers her face. Nothing can
be seen for she hides from all.
I still see her, her heart, her soul
The love of life still lights between her breasts.
She falls asleep, her eyes neither closed no opened.
She simply lies. I love her for this, now and forever.

----beautiful poem.
written by my all time best friend.

today was okay. i been sleepy.
i missed my martin.
fuck i love him so much.
he means the world to me.
i dont think he has any idea.
that i wanna be with him for like; ever.
but i dont want to begin to scare him away either.
so i'll try my hardest to keep it to myself.
but i just want him to know that i love him deeply.

baby i love you.
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    blood bothers

what the fuck did i do now?

today Martin came over. We laid in my bed and watched the clash dvd. then evan came over, then henry we sat in my room and watched blood dolls. then later evan left then henry left. me and martin ran around my house for a few. we sat on here and then he like got all quiet or whatever. i dont think he likes that fact all my friends are guys :-/. but i can't help it, i mean half these dudes i grew up with you know? i mean they know everything about me, then there are people who i can just talk to about anyfucking thing. and like i dont know but i pulled him outside to talk. we didnt talk. then we came in and i pulled him onto the chair to talk to him, and liek he just kept his hat in his face and laughed, i was trying to be serious, so i like was like uhm ok? and walked away, maybe hoping he'd follow me? he didnt. i laid in my bed a few, and gatherd myself. i didnt wanna cry. i got his jacket, his camera, and his cd's he brought over. i stuck a letter in his cd case, it said how much i loved him. when i went outside i said look indside your cd case when you get home, he took it then and read it or looked at it i geuss. and he said "thankyou" im thinking to myself, damn we tell each other we love each other, is he gunna give me a i love you back? he didnt. so i like kindof looked away and said "yeah, your welcome." and then he got in the car, my dad took him home, and everytime we take him home, i walk him up to his door and give him a kiss goodnight, when we got out the truck, he didnt wait for me, and i just kindof followed. then i stopped. and pretty much told myself fuck it and sat on the curb, hoping maybe hed sit with me? he didnt. so i sat there, and he kept walking, and i started to cry i couldnt help it i broke down, when i got in the truck i was sobbing. and i kicked the windsheild. I love him so fucking much, what can i do to make things better? i'm so confused a+nd i dont know whats wrong or what im doing wrong?

i'm not okay.
i'm not ofuckingk.

(no subject)

hahahahaahahaha OMGZ LYKE WHOA LASTNIGHT WAS FUN@*&@(#^&%^&$#__$&#%^&*%!$)(@& my dog humped brian, me&tony we fucking gone, we were laying on the couch saying stupid fucking shit for hours, we were so fucking stond&drunk, the beer enhansed it, i'm telling you. LMFAO. here, i wrot a page in my note book i'll copy it down.

In my book, word for word.
"LMFAO im so trashed, ROFL omgz lyke whoa. This rox. Tony is being gay!

"fuck you bitch!
No NIgger i'm drunk like you, so leave me alone."
"fuck you Nigger!!!"
"cunt waffle"


My dog just humped brian, then took his spot, and he said "oh well it's you dogs couch not mine, i geuss i'll just sit on the floor.. i geuss.."


Tony-"high nigga"
I am too.

that was the woundeful night in my book, even tho now, i bearly understand it or remember it.

BEWARE lots of pictures.
this is why i stay up at nightCollapse )

Ps.yeh brian&tony spent the night, TONY SNORES LIKE A FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!
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(no subject)

today i went to school. it was fine.
afterschool brian,chris,jessica,and i went to tacobell.
we had so much fun, me brian and chris went yesturday too,
then today we came here to my house and i dropped my stuff off then we drove Jessica and chris home. and we picked up tony. then me brian and tony went to brians house and we wrestled on teh bed, and i tried on brians wrestling shorts, they made my ass look huge!! brian let me have them. they are hotshit. then i got home. randy stopped by, hes got me real upset, i don't know what to do.. im so depressed over him. it sucks. i hate this feeling. i love him, but should i deal with this? anyway. next post will be pictures of yesturday. its cool shit. <3
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